Last week would have been my 9-year wedding anniversary. However, instead of receiving/ giving gifts and dining at the some expensive hipster restaurant, I caught up with some gorgeous girlfriends Sex-in-the-City-style to talk boys, boys, clothes, boys, and boys. *Side Note 1: I have to say that this was a much better experience than my last anniversary, which involved missing a Gold Class movie because we were driving a strumpet around.
Anyway, because I started seeing Mr-Actually-Does-Break-Ladies at 14, I am in the somewhat unique position of being almost 30 and not knowing how to date. Add to this the fact that I am a generally awkward person, and you have a recipe for more than a few embarrassing encounters with the male kind.
After finding out about the rotten affair and trying to recover from the whole blood clot debacle, a good and long-suffering friend took responsibility for teaching me how to interact with the hairier gender. *Side Note 2: I am actually the hairiest girl who has ever lived so this is not an apt description of men.
Anyway, she literally took me to bars and patiently stood by while I was too jittery and awks to even order a drink from male bartenders. She even allowed the mentorship to continue after a guttural growl-like noise escaped my mouth when one of her friends asked my name. Yet, slowly but surely, with her patience and my growing posse of single women friends, I finally began to be able to actually speak human words to men. I occasionally even looked them in the eye without feeling the need to self-combust.
This is about the point where the pendulum turned. All of a sudden I was capable of interaction with guys, and had made some amazingly wonderful friendships with such creatures, but my awkwardness prevailed. Now that I could finally speak to men, I became the Queen of over-sharing city. For example, at a dear friend’s recent birthday party, I introduced myself to her male friend with my entire life story. I. mean entire. He didn’t even have anywhere to run.
So, yeah, I’m pretty awkward.
But, seriously, this whole dating world is kinda effed – as in fun and funny and frustrating. I still have absolutely no freaking idea of what I’m doing but it is not nearly as daunting as what I thought it was. As it turns out, amazingly, men are pretty cool. Especially if you can speak human to them.
While I don’t think I will ever lose my awks-ness, I am forever indebted to my lovely crew for pushing me off the dating cliff in the most loving and gentle and patient way possible. Let’s do this then.