I never thought I would be a Poster Girl for infertility.
There are so many things that make me who I am. I love art, design, reading, shopping and baking. I am passionate about social justice, international development and visual sociology. I detest racism, orphanages, mullet dresses and being cold. My French Bulldog, Bandit, means the world to me.
Yet everyday the heaviness of unfilled dreams pervades and undermines every facet of who I am. I wish I could separate it out, compartmentalise it, and control it, but it informs everything. It confronts me everywhere I go – from shopping centres, to movies, to meeting new people.
I was 20 when my husband and I decided to try and start a family. It was January 2006. The journey since then has been long and harder than I could have ever imagined. I have often felt completely broken by it.
Lady Breaks is about taking that brokenness and exploring it. It plays on the ambiguity of the term ‘break’. ‘Break’ can – and often does – imply brokenness. You can break a window, break down, break up with a lover, and break your heart. This kind of ‘break’ destroys, crushes and separates.
Yet, on the other hand, you can also break forth, you can break into singing or dancing, you can break free. ‘Breaking’ in this sense is about disconnecting yourself with what was binding you, and doing or becoming something new.
Lady Breaks is about embracing this duality in life. Our pain and suffering is real and ever-present, but our ability to blossom not just after our winter, but because of it, is real too.
Ugh, even when I read that myself it’s hard to accept, but I do know it is true. I’ve watched so many inspiring women overcome great adversity. The things that should have broken them have made them so much stronger. Lady Breaks is my way of honouring them and *hopefully* following in their footsteps.
I would love you to come along with me.
* * * U P D A T E * * *
Well, the good news is I don’t think I’m the poster girl for infertility anymore! The bad news (or not so bad news, depending on which way you look at it) is that my 8 year long battle through IVF and adoption lists is over, as is my marriage.
But, even though my personal story has changed, Lady Breaks will still stay true to form – honestly and unashamedly focusing on embracing the beauty and pain that is inherent to life. With a multitude of animal gifs thrown in.
I love love love you all. x