On Dating and Stuff

Last week would have been my 9-year wedding anniversary. However, instead of receiving/ giving gifts and dining at the some expensive hipster restaurant, I caught up with some gorgeous girlfriends Sex-in-the-City-style to talk boys, boys, clothes, boys, and boys. *Side Note 1: I have to say that this was a much better experience than my last anniversary, which involved missing a Gold Class movie because we were driving a strumpet around.

Source: http://okmagazine.com/get-scoop/30-most-fabulous-sex-and-city-gifs-see-fun-fashion-love-and-drama-here/

Anyway, because I started seeing Mr-Actually-Does-Break-Ladies at 14, I am in the somewhat unique position of being almost 30 and not knowing how to date. Add to this the fact that I am a generally awkward person, and you have a recipe for more than a few embarrassing encounters with the male kind.

Exhibit A.

After finding out about the rotten affair and trying to recover from the whole blood clot debacle, a good and long-suffering friend took responsibility for teaching me how to interact with the hairier gender. *Side Note 2: I am actually the hairiest girl who has ever lived so this is not an apt description of men.

Anyway, she literally took me to bars and patiently stood by while I was too jittery and awks to even order a drink from male bartenders. She even allowed the mentorship to continue after a guttural growl-like noise escaped my mouth when one of her friends asked my name. Yet, slowly but surely, with her patience and my growing posse of single women friends, I finally began to be able to actually speak human words to men. I occasionally even looked them in the eye without feeling the need to self-combust.

Exhibit B.

This is about the point where the pendulum turned. All of a sudden I was capable of interaction with guys, and had made some amazingly wonderful friendships with such creatures, but my awkwardness prevailed. Now that I could finally speak to men, I became the Queen of over-sharing city. For example, at a dear friend’s recent birthday party, I introduced myself to her male friend with my entire life story. I. mean entire. He didn’t even have anywhere to run.

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So, yeah, I’m pretty awkward.

But, seriously, this whole dating world is kinda effed – as in fun and funny and frustrating. I still have absolutely no freaking idea of what I’m doing but it is not nearly as daunting as what I thought it was. As it turns out, amazingly, men are pretty cool. Especially if you can speak human to them.

While I don’t think I will ever lose my awks-ness, I am forever indebted to my lovely crew for pushing me off the dating cliff in the most loving and gentle and patient way possible. Let’s do this then.

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